Monday, May 23, 2016

Week 20: Expectations | Bright Views, Dark Thoughts

Last week I was in Dubrovnik. I had wanted to go there for a long time, having heard great things about this town, and as luck had it, I ended up visiting for a conference to which I could add on some sightseeing time. Win win! It was every bit as breathtakingly beautiful and impressive as I had thought it would be. The conference itself was also pretty cool and I ended up meeting lots of lovely new people.
Nevertheless, it wasn't all rainbows and unicorns. Is it ever? Apart from the fact that I unfortunately lost my beloved Tiffany's bracelet (it has either slipped off without me realising or housekeeping liked it, I cannot remember 100% if I had it on me and took it off when returning from dinner late on Tuesday night - I bought it in January and there has been a price increase since then...not sure if I will wait until I get to visit the US or find Tiffany's at duty free somewhere) I was once more the victim of my wishful thinking/expecting other people to tick like me. Disappointment number one was the fact that I met my former team and fully expected to get a farewell gift. I had organised one for the colleague that left before me and she had been in the team for less time than me so while I was touched by the virtual "card" (a presentation with one slide for each team mate) that the colleague had also got, I interpreted my ex-manager's words "we'll properly say goodbye and celebrate when we get together in Dubrovnik". It's not about receiving something valuable (ok,  I admit that I would have gladly taken the 200 EUR Netaporter voucher I organised for my ex-colleague), but I really was disappointed that nobody bothered to come up with something, which clearly they would have if I had still been with the team and suggested we pitch in and get a nice surprise for somebody else. 
The other, much bigger, disappointment was that I sent the person who I broke off contact with about a month ago (and yes, it is bugging me more than you could possibly imagine that I have not heard a peep from them even though I said I didn't require a reply) a birthday gift. I bought it in February and it is personalised so I couldn't really give it to somebody else. It wasn't expensive, but too expensive to throw in the bin. I didn't want to have it sitting at home and be reminded of him whenever I see it, so I put it in a padded envelope together with a "neutral" birthday card and sent it with registered mail last Saturday. It should arrived, unless it is waiting at the post to be collected. In any case, I fully expected some kind of reaction, aka brief "Thank You" in some shape or form and was very hurt that none has come. His birthday was on Saturday and being me, I couldn't let it be, but had to also send a text wishing him happy birthday and "hoping the card and gifts have arrived". No reply until Sunday evening. A nice and "appropriate" reply, but too little, too late. I know, I know. I had asked for it.
Arguably, there are good excuses for the other parties in both cases and I should have long learnt not to assume that everybody is on my wavelength and shares my standards of etiquette and reciprocity, but it once again ended up occupying my thoughts way more that I like to admit. Bring on the new week which includes a short trip to Barcelona!


Anonymous alcessa said...

Put into a nutshell: you basically instructed the person to eff off unless you want a contact, in which case they better show some class?

5/23/2016 02:03:00 PM  
Blogger onemorehandbag said...

@alcessa: the wanderings of my mind are sometimes a mystery to myself :-p but yes, I guess you summed it up well!

5/23/2016 02:05:00 PM  
Anonymous alcessa said...

LOL. (it goes to show how ... stressful this whole affair must be for you)

5/23/2016 04:30:00 PM  

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