Lingerie for Aliens

Last week at the spa, Mademoiselle and I enjoyed a "parallel" treatment, i.e. were being pampered simultaneously by two beauty professionals.  Before they began, one of them explained the various procedures and asked if we wanted disposable knickers. I could not be bothered, but Mademoiselle wanted one and as I was curious so I said "yes", too. We each received a sealed transparent package and took out...THIS: 
You could almost see the huge cartoon-type question marks above our heads. Huh? How on earth were we supposed to put on this "underwear" which was only an elasticated tissue-band. When she could hear our stifled giggles, the beautician called to ask if everything was o.k. "Erm, we're obviously too stupid to understand how these knickers work", I replied, pointing at mine. "Ooops, I gave you two headbands instead", she apologised. Aaaaah, this explains it. I prefered to stay naked while M. got a sexy blue Tarzan-style specimen that actually fit her nether regions.