slippery when wet

I was sitting in PPS's car on our way back from IKEA (more about that soon) when my mobile phone beeped. In anticipation (I don't get many texts these days) I reached into my handbag and clicked on the envelope symbol. Hmmm, strange number. It read:

Kennst Du mich noch? Ich war eng und nass zwischen den Schenkeln und Du
warst prall und groß! Wollen wir mal wieder was anstellen?

Followed by a 09- number and the information 2.17 eur/min

For those among you who did not grow up with subtitled German porn or else are fluent in the language anyway, here's the (literal) translation:

Do you remember me? I was tight and wet between the thighs and you were firm
and big! Feel like getting up to something together again?

Damn. Serves me right for roaming the city with my "firm and big" strap-on. Again. I should have known this would have repercussions...

***

When I visited my chronically bored 89-year-old great-aunt in her old people's home yesterday I told her I wouldn't kiss her good-bye because of my cold. She made a dismissive gesture, "Come on, Schatzi, don't be ridiculous. I've got more than enough time for being sick, don't you think?".