Meet my new mates

This is the Christmas present I got from the Mermaid. As she had to cancel our swim-date on Monday and we won't be able to see each other next week either due to various Christmas party committments we decided to meet chez moi last night instead and exchange Christmas pressies already. She began by handing me souvenirs from her holiday in the Philippines: a fridge magnet, various exotic sweet and savoury snacks, a pair of earrings, a tie-dye-pareo and 3 bootleg DVDs. After I had unwrapped the last of her generous offerings, I thought that was it and thanked her for the lovely presents.

Little did I know. The Mermaid reached into her bag and dug out a another present, grinning mischievously and saying that she'd always wanted to buy the thing she had in there and I was the only person she knew who would find it funny. She also said I should tell her honestly if I had no need for it and would prefer something else instead. Needless to say, this made me all the more curious. As soon as I spied P2 on the package, I immediately knew what she'd got me, having seen the chicken-fillet adhesive breasts in the shops myself. I am, after all, very familiar with the Mermaid's boob-fixation.

While I am probably one of the few women out there who are very happy with their (very moderate, fun-sized) cleavage and thankful for the fact I can run after a bus without attracting unwanted attention, bruising my chin or harming innocent bystanders the Mermaid is of a decidedly androgynous built and therefore the undisputed Queen of the padded bra. Not the push-up kind as there's not much pushing material, we're talking solid lining. Inspite of not feeling inadequate on the cleavage-front, I found the present hilarious all the same as I was intrigued by the fact that a) these guys are invisible and potentially good for strapless summer dresses and b) have been much-hyped as the ultimate accessory no Hollywood diva worth her vintage Dior gown would ever set foot on a red carpet without.

I immediately had to try them on as did the Mermaid who decided to get a pair of these sticky boobs for herself soon. In fact, I secretely suspect that she only gave the wobbly friends to me to get an opportunity to try them on for size herself. I have to say they don't look particularly anatomically correct on me but they're a great toy and erm...party-trick none the less. We alternately exposed ourselves to Turkish Deligh with just the bare silicone bra and then with a jumper on top to ask his verdict on the most realistic position of our new friends. He found the texture to be very true to life but admitted they gave us droopy breasts we don't possess in real life (yet).

Well, I suppose I don't call the Mermaid my Busenfreundin (bosom buddy) for nothing...

Lunch-break-purchases: I spent ages in the children's dept. of Zara on Stephansplatz where I got presents for 3 boys, aged between 2 and 4. Most of my friends have children "already" which makes my gift-list considerably longer every year. I'd rather shop for girls' stuff which is infinitely nicer, design-wise, but my friends stubbornly insist on producing male offspring only (to spite me). I also saw the Perfect Office Christmas Party Top (not in the kiddies dept., obviously) which was available in size "L" only. I think it has my name written on me and I therefore will need to scour some other Zara branches en route to my Slo(w) class tonight in the hope of finding a smaller size.