Deeds Above Words

Yesterday, I broke the silence (of approximately 3.5 months) via a happy-birthday-to-you e-mail to somebody who I never wanted to have silence with in the first place. It just happened and I let it happen as that phone-call I had been hoping for that I believed would clear the air and do away with all misunderstandings never came. (And no, I couldn't just call myself, otherwise I would have). The reply was friendly, but sobering and not quite what I had hoped for. The old me would have fired off a dozen sequel e-mails of novel length to try and "understand" and "get to the core" of what I already understand only too well: that I am just not important enough to this person, never was and never will be. The new me has learnt (and no, that insight did not come overnight) that you just have to accept some things as tough and unpleasant as they may be and it's better for everyone involved if you keep those needy novels to yourself and look out for people who don't suffocate you with words, but impress you with deeds. And vice versa, of course.