Introducing Apostrophitis' Little Brother

I've told you of my pet hate, over-generous use of (misplaced) apostrophes before. Sufferers of "apostrophitis" are in good company - there's the equally annyoing and just as widespread use of gratuitious double quotation marks, "quotitis". It can often be seen on menus, where ingredients appear as "asparagus", for example and make me wonder if I am being offered some artificial substitute. Surely, if it were real asparagus, there'd be no need to put it between quotes, right? The same phenomenon can be observed in shops, when you see signs like this:

The double quote instinctively makes me doubt that it is real leather, but then it would be a very expensive bag if it cost € 249 and were faux leather (unless the material is called "canvas" and we're looking at a Louis Vuitton window display...). Similarly, an "automatic" umbrella signals to me "hehe, got you there - you thought this umbrella would open automatically, but it does not".

I wonder if these shop-owners would be willing to sell their merchandise for "money".