Week 38: OMFG! | Overjoyed

I am well aware of the fact that my recent weekly "snippets" radiated a lot of cryptic doom and gloom and I might have sounded like a maniac depressive more often than not. Believe me, the whole year so far really was a very unsettling and somewhat schizophrenic period. The latter due to the fact that I was working regularly during my 3-months termination period (I had to sign my termination agreement due to the fact that my previous job role did not exist any longer, and the current one was a temporary maternity cover) with one disappointment after the other regarding interesting openings, but yet getting more praise and gratification at work than ever before in my career. After years in Sales, which I never really warmed to, I really felt like I had arrived at a job that I had always dreamed about and was well-suited for. Now, at the very last minute and after months of literally blood, sweat and tears, the proverbial silver lining appeared on the horizon and the absolute BEST best case scenario that I secretly dreamed about, materialised. I am beyond happy! I never for a minute was afraid of ending up unemployed, but not feeling appreciated by "the system" seriously deflated me and it took quite a bit of effort to separate the task at hand and the people who continued to have faith in me and my capabilities, from my lingering bitterness and those people who caused me nothing but frustration and hid behind legislation and red tape. A life lesson (in particular for an impatient creature like me) for sure and confirmation that once more my mantra that everything is going to be all right in the end, IS true.

Week 37: Adrenaline | Never a Dull Moment

"Boring" and "predictable" are arguably the most dangerous adjectives ever. They have certainly been known to make me do my fair share of stupid things after they have bubbled under the surface for a long time. But not only stupid: when I was a student and had little money, but a lot of free time and a new sewing machine, I would redecorate my first apartment in Vienna in short intervals, usually by buying a large amount of cheap fabric and making new cushion covers. In a parallel universe, I'm an interior decorator. Boredom and predictability played an important role in me quitting my long-term relationship of 11 years and job of 9 years in short succession. Both were pretty traumatic and tearful at the beginning, but at the same time I still had no doubts that it was the right decision and if nothing else, it has taught me that if you can survive scary shit once, you can do so again, with the added bonus of knowing that you'll come through at the other end. Part of me also loves flirting with drama to some extent and the feeling that "ANYthing could happen" to me, with a certain amount of cluelessness paired with an equal dose of recklessness makes me as excited as it has me afraid.

I am currently in exactly such a phase where I feel I keep replacing the master-script to my life and every time I have found it and have immersed myself in the next chapter, some major editing occurs by other contributors to the document and I think "Oh, that could be quite interesting, too. Why not". 

I may have sleepless nights and a head exploding with questions, but I am certainly enjoying the possibilities.

In other notes, my bag collection embraced one of my absolute dream bags recently. But this deserves a separate post.

Week 36: Déjà Vu | You Always Meet Twice

I was in Dublin for the greater part of last week (staying in 3 different hotels, by the way) and it was an intense exercise of Déjà Vu, ranging from not only not being able to avoid certain people who have been causing me a lot of emotional trauma earlier this year - I think we can all guess which department they might work in - but having to engage in smalltalk with them, to bumping into random people "out of context" and staring at each other until it dawned on one of us where we knew each other from. Funniest example - one Irish girl who incidentally sits next to my manager also had the impression that she knew me from somewhere when I finally approached her at some evening event. We found out that it must be from Sydney, where she had worked for years before coming to Dublin. It became clear that we had not met as some kind of training or summit in Europe recently, as I had initially suspected. The it dawned on me - I have plenty of pictures of her, and one of the two of us together, wearing "shower caps" and holding our hands up, covered in cocoa powder - we both attended a voluntary chocolate making session by a famous French pastry chef back in November 2011 at our Sydney office. It's a small world indeed!

Week 35: Rollercoaster | Planning Escapes

Among all the emotional weeks I have had this year - and I have had my fair share - this past one ranks among the top 3 definitely so far. Frustrating work background noise aside, I got yet another reminder that there is obviously no limit to the shitty things men come up with to hurt women. It does not even matter much if these words or actions are deliberate or accidental, but in my case the protective Teflon layer I have tried to build up over the years has become porous and does not work quite as efficiently to ward off the insults when I am not my chirpiest, happiest self and just want to be treated nice and respectfully without having to constantly be on guard. Suffice it to say I am still very upset as I am writing this post on Sunday morning.

On the bright side, I spontaneously booked a week in Ibiza and am very much looking forward to a few chilled days by the seaside with one of my all-time favourite travel companions from the "Nice Gang". Can't wait.