Self Defense

I'm the type of person who'd always tell colleagues who seem to have dragged themselves to the office or joined an online meeting visibly/audibly sick to get back to bed asap and take sick leave. Well...in my almost 7 years at the Firm I have never taken a day of sick leave myself, which is not to say that I have never been sick for all this time. In fact, I have had the common cold several times, plus got infected with Covid three times and always worked (from home), so, yep, not the best role model. My mum always scolds me for not taking time off work, but I definitely got this attitude from her, she also refuses to acknowledge that she is sick.

Last weekend, Highflyer had a sore throat and a really hoarse voice and I was determined not to catch whatever it was (not Covid, in any case, he took several tests) off him, "doping" myself with effervescent vitamin concoctions. If I got sick timing would have been less than ideal (then again, when is it ever?!) as I had to defend my thesis in Linz on Tuesday and to facilitate a workshop that had already been postponed (not because of me) in the office on Thursday. Sure enough I woke up with a killer sore throat on Tuesday morning and feared for the worst when I took the train. Thanks to either the adrenaline rush of the exam and/or the lozenges I took I almost felt back to normal when I got back to Vienna that same night. I still decided not to go to the office on Wednesday, doing all my tried and tested home remedy routines: inhaling salt water, drinking hot lemonade with ginger and honey, taking a hot bath, etc. I slept badly that night and woke up on Thursday morning with a runny nose and an ear-ache, which I hardly ever get. I still powered through the workshop and again didn't feel that bad actually when I left for home. By Friday night I was sneezing and coughing, so, yep, flat batteries and a full-blown cold right in time for the weekend. Highflyer who went to the doctor last Monday and got antibiotics for his throat infection also had the worst of his symptoms on his days off, but did have to take two days of sick leave as home office is not really an option when you need to fly passengers from A to B.

I really was reminded of my "roadshow" days at the Firm, when I would give full-day trainings in the Balkans and Baltics, travelling on my own without a backup. During those intense 4 or so years I really perfected my "first aid kit" and tried to avoid hotel rooms without bath tubs and kettles. There were many occasions when a soak in a hot tub and a sachet of LemSip or Neocitran helped to ward off the worst. One time, I felt positively feverish (also quite rare for me) in Sofia, the day before I had to give a training and 3 days before my birthday party back home. I took a bath, had a LemSip and wrapped up with a cardigan on top of my PJs, plus scarf and woollen hat before I got into bed. When I woke up the next morning I still felt pretty zombified, to be honest, but managed to pull off the training and fly back later in the evening. What can I say, my little "episode" felt like a distant memory when I celebrated my birthday in Vienna two days later as if nothing had happened.

I know myself that it's probably neither smart, nor sustainable to fight off and try deny your cold symptoms, regardless of how important your job is (in my case: NOT at all), but somehow I can't help it.

New Conservativism

When Highflyer and I got married, he took on my surname. This is still rather unusual in Austria, where the norm is for women to either take on their husband's name or to use both hers and his, hyphenated, while the man typically just keeps his name. Elder couples in particular sometimes decide to keep their individual names ("Italian style") when they get married and this is what I had assumed we would do as well as I never intended to give up my maiden name and the double-barrelled version would not have sounded great. My better half, however, decided to go through the hassle of changing all his documents (and in his case, this involved a lot more documents that had to be changed immediately after the wedding, like his pilot's licence, for example) and I really appreciated this gesture, as did my parents. It also kind of placated my Mum, who was upset that we didn't have a church wedding.

Recently, I found out that two ex-colleagues in their 30s are getting married and when asked what they would be called afterwards one said that she would take on her husband's name even though she thought hers sounded better and the other said she would use both. I didn't comment on that, but both asked me "what did you end up doing?" and when I told them that I kept mine and that Highflyer changed his, they both said they had actually not thought of or ever discussed this version, with one of them adding "well, I might have given in too easily, that would have been great, actually." I had a similar discussion with a colleague who got married a month after me when I congratulated her on her marriage and remarked that it was a funny coincidence that her new surname was so similar to her old one and thus easy to remember for people at work. She returned the congratulations and asked me what she should call me now. When I told her it was even easier because I had kept my surname, she added "Oh, but we wanted to have the same name, so I took on his." When I replied "well, so did we, my husband took my name" she also said that this idea had not even occurred to her.

I was surprised that they all found this concept so "wild" and even though they are almost 20 years younger than me, these young women seemed much more conservative and traditional in their views. Upbringing? A millennial thing? Interesting, in any case.

The Best Things in Life...

...really are free. Case in point, my excitement over the herbs that made a voluntary comeback after winter. I'm not talking about the lemon balm that grows like weed and which I never planted in the first place and I do know that rocket/rucola is very resilient and pretty much grows everywhere, all year round, so this was not the big deal, but coriander!?! If you've ever tried to keep it alive in a pot on your kitchen window or in the garden you know what I'm talking about. It's a capricious DIVA and drama queen that tends to get offended and suicidal if you as much as give it a side glance. I bought mine discounted last summer (because it looked pretty wilted) at a cheap supermarket as I needed it for a recipe and then planted the rest in the garden. Somehow it has miraculously multiplied and come back stronger than it was in the first place. So, small step for man, big step for this amateur gardener's ego! 

 

Relief

Last week I got the grade for my thesis, which was the equivalent of an "A" of the British/American score. Pleasant enough (in particular for the minimal effort I had invested, ahem), but I really had not been biting my nails with anxiety beforehand. What was a great relief, however, was good news after the final of a series of medical tests. I had been pretty concerned for a  month or so and just felt a great sense of relief and gratitude that I can now fully enjoy the new chapter that is beginning in less than a month: all done with my MBA with 3-day weekends every week with time to explore, travel, indulge in my favourite pastimes and so much more. Life is sweet and I'm here for it!

Best Before

 When I was young(ish) and foolish, I was very invested in a "project" to convince somebody that I was indeed the One for him. Well, in fact he repeatedly told me that I was no less than the love of his life, but still refused to leave his long-term partner that he had a long-distance relationship with at the time, arguing that I(!) would definitely leave him sooner rather than later and he would regret his decision, so he decided to stay put where he was, causing me quite a bit of frustration and exasperation. 

Well, in retrospect I should of course have said "good riddance" and "next!" the first time I was exposed to this theory of his and not try to argue and pitch my virtues, but somehow it was a challenge and I wouldn't give up easily, Did I mention that I was foolish? What infuriated me most was the fact that he had what he thought was a logical explanation why I (the younger one in this "situationship") would definitely leave him soon: he argued that it was a widely known "fact" that the initial rose-tinted phase of infatuation did not last longer than one year maximum and after that, in cold daylight so to speak, people fell out of love as would I, no doubt.

Every time I catch myself looking at Highflyer now, feeling a rush of both gratitude and giddy love that has not cooled down much, really, since when we first met, I am reminded that in our 5th year we have waaay outlived that silly alleged expiration date and I have to say it amuses me quite a bit. Plus, I do like to win arguments, even if we still don't know if indeed I would have fallen out of love with that other person regardless of his theory...