Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Single? Desperate? Move to Alston!

In the Marie Claire I bought the other day I came across an article on "the Alston Boys" who apparently have become quite a media phenomenon in the U.K. since they went public with their dating dilemma. In Alston, their native Cumbrian village , there's a ratio of ten men to one woman which is not so good if you're a testosterone-driven villager. In order to alert women all over the British Isles (and possibly beyond) of their sexual draught, a group of guys founded the "Alston Moor Re-Generation Society". Interested ladies with romantic preconceptions of life in rural England please proceed to their website. Judging from the hopefuls' photos in MC, I could just about restrain myself, but then that depends on your tastes and the exact level of desperation, doesn't it?
Speaking of magazines - although the U.S. versions of my favourite glossy mags are actually cheaper here, I only ever buy the U.K. editions. Their American "sisters" are not only much thinner (as you would imagine) but infinitely more boring, the majority of articles being about how to get a Southern gentleman or real-estate tycoon to propose to you. This is also reflected in the ads, 50% of which are for diamond rings (of the kind Elizabeth Taylor would favour) and the rest for dental treatments. In fact, when I last had the chance to leaf through U.S. women's glossies, I saw the same advertisement for veneers by this company in all of them, shouting (I'm not making this up): "teeth. the ultimate accessory". This cracked me up and sent my wild imagination into overdrive:
Barbie: Darling, have you seen my veneered-incisor-necklace? I can't seem to find it?
Ken: Sorry, honey, I haven't, but why don't you just wear that gorgeous bleached-molar-brooch I gave you last Christmas?
Purchase(s): Because of severe Salt & Vinegar crisps withdrawal symptoms (more about my addiction another time) I went to the British "supermarket" earlier today, buying much more than crisps, predictably enough. En route back to the office I made a detour to an Asian shop to stock up on equally addictive wasabi-coated dried green peas by this company. Official excuse for getting a bit carried away on the snacks-front: I have dinner-guests this Saturday.

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