The Voices in My Head

 

Okay, I admit the title is clickbait of the worst kind...I have not turned gaga (at least I think so, but I might be biased), getting contacted by aliens or receiving commands to start a revolution or some such. What I mean is more along the lines of putting myself in the shoes of other people when a situation reminds me of them. Lately, mostly my deceased father's, when I am working in my parents' garden or doing some DIY jobs. In recent years, he used to show me a lot of things (one could also say: boss me around when he could not physically do them any more) and now it has become a routine for me, checking items on a mental checklist. What else would he have asked me to do in addition to weeding, raking leaves, picking up apples? Perhaps check if the rain gutters are clogged with leaves, cut what is growing through the garden fence from the street-side, things like that.

As I really dislike confrontation and instinctively try to avoid such situations whenever I can, happy to hide behind others who are good at it. My ex-boyfriend sometimes called me a "sheep" as I'd rather endure sub-par customer service than complain about it. I have to say, I have got a lot better at being at de-sheeping myself, but it's still not my forte. When I can't avoid confrontation, I often think about people whom I consider pros in such situations, such as the Empress, or another ex-colleague from Croatia. How would they handle it and address the other party? What would be their tactic? 

So, ultimately, all those voices are a safety-net of a kind and I'm not ashamed to call them to my rescue whenever needed.