Busy Bee

Due to our own, um, advanced age, more or less all of my friends have now either lost at least one of their parents or have had some kind of health concern related to them by now. Last week a friend whose parents are both still alive lamented the fact that they do not really have a circle of friends any more as their closest friends have sadly died already and so they really rely on one another and neither of them really has a hobby other than watching TVand looking after the grandchildren. She asked me how my mother (78 years old) was coping, now that she has been widowed for half a year. I am so incredibly grateful that despite not having quite the same amount of energy she used to have, she is still a powerhouse and example of resilience, discipline and resourcefulness that puts her daughter to shame. While we text more often than we used to when Dad (who basically was her "PR spokesperson" and the main "WhatsApper" of their household) was alive, we have kept up our biweekly phone dates and whenever I call her it is hard to keep track of all her appointments, some of them arranged very spontaneously. An account of a typical afternoon of hers sounds like this: "I had originally planned to meet X for a gallery walk downtown, but then her husband's hospital appointment got moved so she cancelled on me short notice, but just as I had hung up, Y called to ask if I had any plans for the afternoon and I went to her for a glass of wine before we headed to the cinema. Her friend Z whom I know from our Qi Gong class was also there and gave us a lift." Needless to say, her energy combined with her interests and vast circle of friends and acquaintances is a huge relief to me, who lives more than 300 km away. One's attitude really makes such a difference in old age and I really hope I will be like her (minus the widow part, hopefully).

 

Comfort Zone in Grey

On January 9th I took home "Hasi" as my new car is called (because it is a VW Golf Rabbit and "Hasi" means bunny in German). As the car dealership is a 20+-minute drive away I needed Highflyer to drive me there. Had we known that it would be the worst snow day so far this winter, we would definitely have postponed the pick-up date. As it was, it ended up being a pretty frightening maiden cruise having already passed several crash-sites on the motorway on our outbound drive. I parked the car and then it stayed there for literally 3 weeks straight without being moved by anyone. Since then, we have been to Carinthia and back with Hasi and I'm pretty comfortable now driving this fancy hight-tech "smartphone-on-wheels" that feels like a quantum leap after my old car. I'm still not at ease as a passenger, though, but this is the case in any car post-accident when I constantly expect somebody to drive into us from the right as happened to me. I had been very opposed to (driving) automatic cars and since I knew I wanted to get a hybrid (petrol/electric) car, which only comes as AT, I was not happy about this. However, just like everybody had told me, I got used to it immediately and now I just need to decide whether I want to endure the horrible orchestra of beeps when I park in a tight space or whether I rather should switch all assistant sounds off.

Void

 

Last week was my first birthday without my dad, who was always the first person to send greetings via WhatsApp, usually either a picture of flowers (from his garden or a shop-bought bouquet that was already waiting for me) or some sort of witty collage. Like in most families, my mum has always been the main "rememberer-and-procurer-of-gifts", but nonetheless.

It's the little things where I notice his absence most, like when I see or hear something original that would have been right up his alley, like this building detail with bears on a facade in Vienna's 9th district that I spotted a few details ago and which I would have typically sent to him immediately with few words, not expecting more than a thumbs-up emoji in return...

Hospitality

Mum and I just returned from a weekend in Salzburg, where we stayed at a charming little family-run hotel for the 4th time. Both the young couple who owns it and their staff go out of their way to make guests feel at home and we will certainly be back. It's the little things that make all the difference. One of the things I like about this hotel is that you can help yourself to (a nice selection of good quality) tea or (very decent) coffee outside breakfast hours. Not terribly costly for the hotel, but much appreciated by guests who like a hot beverage when they return to their room (which does not have a kettle). We know how the psychology of hospitality works: people want the - perceived - best rate and are not willing to pay extra for things such as drinks or snacks on board of airlines. Raise the ticket price for 5 EUR and give them a cheap snack and they are happy and think they made a good deal. We want to feel "special" and like a valued guest.  Maybe I'll sell my precious insights as a seasoned online shopper ("buy one, get one free!", "spend X, get free shipping and a sample size of Y while stocks last!") and traveller ("get a free night for every 10 nights you book with us!") as some kind of hospitality industry consulting service when I'm retired...

 

Status Quo

Recently, a half-Iranian content creator, who had been asked why she did not comment more on current political events in Iran explained that she tried to be cautious in order not to cause relatives (even though they all lived abroad) any problems. Sad, but not surprising as you never know what totalitarian regimes are capable of and expect the worst of them. Speaking of totalitarian states, I noticed that I have been self-censoring by not asking any of the questions I am itching to ask my foreign-born friends who live the US. They have all legally lived there for years, decades even, are married to US citizens and some of them are citizens themselves, they pay taxes and have contributed to society not just by producing more tax payers and yet...you just never know and I do not want to cause them any problems for voicing their honest opinion. This caution on my part might be completely exaggerated on my part and it might even be considered tasteless to mention this in the same context as Iran, but to me it has been a shocking realisation that there seems to be little difference between a well-known "villain-state" you expect nothing but the worst of and another that in the not-so-distant past was the symbol for freedom and democracy, but now seems to be just as predictably unpredictable...

Snow Days

There's no doubt that I have long reached the age when you glorify everything in the distant past, such as childhood winters always being white with all types of winter sports being possible during the whole season. If I think about it a little harder, I do remember one particular ski week with school that began with most of us ruining the surface/wax layer of our skis because there was so little snow, until there was heavy snowfall on the fourth day or so. 

For what feels like decades it has been mostly like this: first snowfall in November or early December on a random week day when nobody has time for outdoor activities and/or ski resorts are still closed, followed by weeks of mild weather inevitably resulting in very little snow (in particular for the amount of hopeful skiers) on slopes despite artificial snow during the Christmas vacation. Then, just as everyone is settled back into work in the first or second week of January, the perfect amount of snow magically appears and you have your desired Winter Wonderland...for about 5 minutes until chaos breaks out in the city and car exhausts render it brown and slushy. There's only one conclusion unless global warming eliminates snow for good until then: provided I am fit enough as a retiree I won't have silly things like work commitments preventing me from heading to the ski lifts immediately on a random Wednesday when conditions are perfect and the won't be any crowds. Obviously, glorifying the future works just as fine for me...

What If.

 

I have never been a notorious risk-seeker, but recently I noticed I have become one of those OLD PERSONS I would have rolled my eyes at in my teens and twenties. One of those people who always thinks of the what ifs, even though she tries hard to keep most of them to herself. When I watch Highflyer's sons skiing, racing downhill at breakneck speed, not a care in the world, I inwardly flinch and think of all the things that could happen and that I know can actually happen. Recent horror stories of friends and friends of friends who had nasty accidents, some of them even fatal, while skiing or snowboarding don't help and my own accident that resulted in an injured knee has made me a lot more cautious and I know only too well that I am unfit and therefore more prone to injuries. Call me boring, but I don't really want to add to some statistic, nor do I want to end up in an operating theatre.