Status Quo

Recently, a half-Iranian content creator, who had been asked why she did not comment more on current political events in Iran explained that she tried to be cautious in order not to cause relatives (even though they all lived abroad) any problems. Sad, but not surprising as you never know what totalitarian regimes are capable of and expect the worst of them. Speaking of totalitarian states, I noticed that I have been self-censoring by not asking any of the questions I am itching to ask my foreign-born friends who live the US. They have all legally lived there for years, decades even, are married to US citizens and some of them are citizens themselves, they pay taxes and have contributed to society not just by producing more tax payers and yet...you just never know and I do not want to cause them any problems for voicing their honest opinion. This caution on my part might be completely exaggerated on my part and it might even be considered tasteless to mention this in the same context as Iran, but to me it has been a shocking realisation that there seems to be little difference between a well-known "villain-state" you expect nothing but the worst of and another that in the not-so-distant past was the symbol for freedom and democracy, but now seems to be just as predictably unpredictable...

Snow Days

There's no doubt that I have long reached the age when you glorify everything in the distant past, such as childhood winters always being white with all types of winter sports being possible during the whole season. If I think about it a little harder, I do remember one particular ski week with school that began with most of us ruining the surface/wax layer of our skis because there was so little snow, until there was heavy snowfall on the fourth day or so. 

For what feels like decades it has been mostly like this: first snowfall in November or early December on a random week day when nobody has time for outdoor activities and/or ski resorts are still closed, followed by weeks of mild weather inevitably resulting in very little snow (in particular for the amount of hopeful skiers) on slopes despite artificial snow during the Christmas vacation. Then, just as everyone is settled back into work in the first or second week of January, the perfect amount of snow magically appears and you have your desired Winter Wonderland...for about 5 minutes until chaos breaks out in the city and car exhausts render it brown and slushy. There's only one conclusion unless global warming eliminates snow for good until then: provided I am fit enough as a retiree I won't have silly things like work commitments preventing me from heading to the ski lifts immediately on a random Wednesday when conditions are perfect and the won't be any crowds. Obviously, glorifying the future works just as fine for me...

What If.

 

I have never been a notorious risk-seeker, but recently I noticed I have become one of those OLD PERSONS I would have rolled my eyes at in my teens and twenties. One of those people who always thinks of the what ifs, even though she tries hard to keep most of them to herself. When I watch Highflyer's sons skiing, racing downhill at breakneck speed, not a care in the world, I inwardly flinch and think of all the things that could happen and that I know can actually happen. Recent horror stories of friends and friends of friends who had nasty accidents, some of them even fatal, while skiing or snowboarding don't help and my own accident that resulted in an injured knee has made me a lot more cautious and I know only too well that I am unfit and therefore more prone to injuries. Call me boring, but I don't really want to add to some statistic, nor do I want to end up in an operating theatre.

When I Grow Up

 

I am writing this from my bedroom at my parents'. It is not my childhood bedroom as my parents moved into this house the summer I graduated from high school and moved to Vienna, but there are quite a few childhood memories around of course. Exactly in one month I will turn 54 (?!?) and yet I seriously often catch myself being impressed by other people doing "grown-up" things, in particular people in their twenties or thirties around me. Our most recent intern at the office (25) bought a house together with her fiancé, an age when I had not even finished studying and would definitely not have considered purchasing a property/getting a loan to do so. 

Whenever I am in my flat in Vienna, where there's a lot of...stuff...cough...I resolve to do a massive decluttering and clear-out "very soon", gradually realising that it's easy to miss the sweet spot when you're motivated and capable of doing so. Having bought a house with everything in it from the previous owner and seeing my mother clearing out Dad's (who was extremely organised and not a hoarder) stuff definitely has been a wake-up call in this regard. It's unreal how much the average financially comfortable person accumulates over the years and it's rare to find someone that really appreciates it all when they are gone. 

Decisions

I have many character flaws and faults, but being indecisive is definitely not among them and I consider myself a pretty spontaneous person. Last Friday, I bought a new car without much deliberation (having done some online research, of course). Unfortunately I will not get it before Christmas, but maybe this is for the better, giving me more time to acquaint myself with it before driving to Carinthia in potentially bad winter weather. Highflyer jokingly teased one of his sisters with my "impulse buy" as she bought her most recent car after months of intense research and test drives that involved him as her remote sparring partner. She is very comfortable, financially, so money is definitely not the reason behind her deliberation and yet it felt like the most difficult decision ever and she ended up driving to Germany to buy the particular (second hand) car she eventually decided on. Admittedly, my impatient nature might play a large part in this attitude of mine, meaning that I reach that stage of "okay, can't be bothered any more" a little sooner than the average person. In some cases this might turn out to my disadvantage in the long run, but so far: no complaints.

 

Making Memories

This Christmas will be different in many ways. To start with the negative aspect: it will be the first one without my Dad. However, it will also be the first ever Christmas spent together with my husband at the country house (Mum is joining us) and I am really looking forward to starting new traditions. Highflyer has to work as usual, but will be home by dinner-time and get to experience my family's traditional fondue (Chinoise). Tree ornaments and candles are already sorted and yesterday we got our tree, bought from a little market set up in front of the village church. It will probably be a rather melancholic Christmas, but nonetheless I am really looking forward to it.

 

It's a Man's World...

I consider myself an independent and self-sufficient woman who doesn't necessarily need a man to do things for her. After all I was single for years and survived just fine. However, I also have over half a decade of experience and so I choose to delegate some (admittedly very few) tasks to my better half. Such as talking business with companies who buy wrecked cars and tow them away so you don't have to. It may be sad sign that our society is backward, patriarchal and conservative, but I just know that I ultimately will get a better deal if I have Highflyer to call these men and negotiate on my behalf. So, bottom-line: I win.