Young Love

 

Highflyer and I recently celebrated our 6th anniversary. I am still madly in love with him and so is he if his words and actions are to be trusted. Needless to say, we are very happy about this fact and do not take it for granted. 

While most of our friends who have been together with their respective partners for a much longer time give the impression to still like and appreciate each other, this is definitely not the norm for couples our age as I am often reminded of at restaurants or in hotel breakfast rooms, where other middle-aged (eeeek) couples mostly seem united by mutual dislike and annoyance. The fact that we still have something to say and listen to each other is different from the "loaded silence" that seems to cloak other pairs. 

Mind you, other people might find it highly disturbing and could get the wrong signal if they saw us share the same room, each engrossed in their separate online bubble (Highflyer playing chess or commenting in his favourite forum, me rotting my brain on Instagram or YouTube most likely) for longer than is socially acceptable. And I love that we both appreciate that the other one is totally fine and comfortable with it.

We don't engage in outrageous embarrassing PDA, but still are very affectionate with each other and this is also something that seems to stick out from the mass of other 50somethings. 

I like to think our "secret sauce" is the mix of typically not being together 24/7 unless on vacaction, having met later in life when we both knew exactly what we were willing to compromise on and what were non-negotiable red flags, and also that we do not have children together. Highflyer (who is the father of three children) actually agrees to the latter, too. Very likely that we would have come out of this "next level relationship test" unscathed, but as we won't find out, I know that it has definitely made things easier and means less responsibility for me at least. 

For the record, most of the above-mentioned (outwardly at least)  happy couples among our friends do have children, so even more kudos to them!

Ain't Got No Time For That

 

You might think that with 3-day weekends and a rather flexible job that allows home office I'd have endless time for everything. Truth be told, I wonder how I ever managed with "normal" weekends and a 100% office-bound job. There are so many things I am meaning to do "one day", but then I realise that yet another week is over and postponing things to "when I'm grown-up" is, um, a bit delusional to put it mildly. Objectively speaking, I am on the wrong side of middle-aged and there's really no point in postponing anything anymore. It's rather a question of (re-)prioritising projects, reflecting on what is time well-spent and what can be ignored or deleted from my hard drive for good. Even so, it's mind-boggling how three quarters of yet another year have gone by. Mind you, I have already ordered my Christmas cards (!) and sorted most presents for the few people in my life I am giving some to, so, yeah, one step ahead in this regard at least.

What If

Interviewers like to ask people what they would do if they didn't have to worry about having to earn money and fulfilling any kinds of obligations. Well, in my case, I would just potter around in the kitchen, experimenting, as well as do crafts, dig around in the garden and lay in my hammock reading, which is basically what I do on my 3-day weekends already. Health permitting, this is exactly what I am planning to do when I'm retired, plus travel more. Not the worst kind of "programme" in my book, but of course one person's idea of an ideal day is another one's nightmare.

 

Back to School

I am not a teacher, nor do I have children who attend school and yet this annual back-to-school vibe also affects me for several reasons. Public transport works in regular, shorter intervals again and "construction/service disruption season" is finally over until next July. My many friends who are teachers themselves and/or have children on summer break are back in town. This state of "all decisions on hold until people are back" at work is over and you don't get more out-of-office replies than actual responses to your e-mails any longer. It's almost as if a mini New Year begins every September and I don't mind being swept up in its momentum.

 

Coping

The plants in my parents' house and garden are thriving. This might not be such a remarkable fact as it is bitterly ironic, as my late father always thought that my mother was pretty much incapable of looking after them and let her know it frequently. He was a passionate gardener and had a green tumb, the less he could do physically the more be became a control freak and liked to supervise and comment, much to the annoyance of whoever his attention was directed at. For as long as he could, he watered the potted plants himself and when he didn't have the strength any more, he painstakingly explained just how water every pot demanded to my mum. He trusted me more with the plant stuff, which does not mean that he was not very critical at the same time. We accepted and tolerated it as a typical trait of his chronic illness (COPD), reminding ourselves of the kind person he was before he became ill, but admittedly, it was not always easy.

The plants are just one small facet of everything my mother is handling remarkably well now that she is alone in the house. Several renovation projects of different scales that have long been overdue and she is tackling them now. Lots of things had to be organised (such as standing orders changed to her account from dad's) and some skills to acquire that had been dad's domains until the very end, like online banking transactions and the finer details of their smart TV. Thankfully, that's where I, as the digitally savvy daughter, come in, even if my patience is stretched quite a bit with these projects. Nonetheless, I am incredibly proud of my mum for being so pragmatic, disciplined and self-sufficient and hope that she can focus more on "me-time" for herself soon. She deserves it.