Old Age

My father turned 80 last week. I am incredibly happy and grateful that he reached this milestone even if I almost can't remember him physically fit and healthy and it's bitter-sweet to see him struggle to get through each day. To live to 80 is still rather impressive (if I was mean, I'd add for men in particular...) but it doesn't have the same WOW-factor it had when I was a child and my maternal great-grandfather's 80th birthday was a big deal. Eighty seemed positively ancient, even more so for a child of kindergarten-age, but just like 40 is the new 30 and 60 the new 50, etc., 90 these days is probably the new 80. Fine with me.

 

Red Flags

On the weekend I met a friend who is unhappy in a textbook toxic relationship. I more or less advised him to RUN. FAST as probably everybody else including his therapist has. I am concerned it will turn out like the equally toxic work environment he stayed in for years longer than he should have. I didn't want to come across all smug giving relationship advice and acknowledged that I made stupid decisions and stuck around way too long in "situationships" myself, but now really enjoy the opposite of drama. I couldn't help wonder if I have really outgrown bad decisions for good or it could happen all over again if I found myself single again. I like to think it would not, but then again, I'd rather not find have to test my theory.

 

Business Trips 2.0

In the past 10 days I was in Linz, Klagenfurt and Innsbruck for business. This week, I will be in Graz for a day. I have travelled more for business recently than I did in the past 7 years and it's like a less glamorous, more environmentally friendly version of my business travels with the Firm which I LOVED and lived for. Goodbye planes and 5* designer hotels, hello trains and staying at my parents' or Highflyer's Innsbruck home (in all fairness, I could have stayed in hotels there, but chose not to for obvious reasons). I still appreciate the change of scenery and have mostly resigned myself to the fact that even if I still had my old job, there probably would be less travelling and more videoconferencing these days, which is only sensible. After all, it's good to have fond memories and my fondest work-related ones are of these business trips that always had a bit of an exciting vacation element to it. At the same time, I wasn't exactly happy most of that time and spent many hours in hotel rooms obsessing over the cryptic texts of guys not worthy of my attention. While it's good not to get stuck on negative things that happened years ago, it's not fair to completely gloss over them and romanticise the past. I'll gladly swap fancy hotels for emotional stability and contentment.

Calm. Hopefully not Before the Storm...

I was able to combine a business commitment in Klagenfurt with a visit to my parents and am writing this from their house. My Mum has recovered from her broken arm and its aftermath and even though both my parents currently have a fierce cold they are comparatively well and I am mostly in my old role of  (spoilt) "child" (if with the footnote "to aging parents") after a summer of role reversal. It feels deceivingly normal, but I am almost afraid I'll jinx it if I say this out loud. Let's put it like this: I am happy about the status quo, but mentally prepared to switch into caretaker-mode again.